“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”
~ Ephesians 5:28
Hi James and Ellen,
Ephesians 5 is the marriage chapter. Your grandpaa knows that being married is a very good thing. Your dad’s Uncle Jim said that the best thing that ever happened to your grandpaa was when your grandpaa met your grandmaa. Your dad’s Uncle Jim is right. When a guy and a gal get married – like your grandmaa and grandpaa – or like your dad and ma, the guy and gal become as if they are one person. If a wife does not sense that her husband unreservedly loves her, the wife will not respect her husband. If a wife does not sense that her husband unconditionally loves her, the wife will not have any desire at all to be submissive to her husband. If a wife does not sense that her husband unqualifiedly loves her by leaving the home and emotional safety net of his dad and ma and makes his home her home and his emotional safety net, the wife will never sense being the one companion and helpmate that she knows that she is to be to her husband. It is the guy – the husband, who has the lifelong responsibility of always being the one to hold the tattered umbrella of protection over his wife and his kids. A guy and a gal are to begin life together as a husband and wife with an umbrella that is not tattered. As a guy and a gal live their lives as a married couple, they will experience life storms that will do a number on them. Life storms may be family additions – like having kids like you being born to them. A life storm may be from having financial indebtedness because the husband has not taken seriously enough buying clothing and putting food on the table for his family. A life storm may be a health issue – like your grandmaa having to have hip replacement surgery so that she could walk straight again. Life storms are sent by God to draw a couple or a nuclear family under the umbrella that the husband and dad is holding.
Paul compares the love that your grandpaa is to have for your grandmaa or the love that your dad is to have for your ma like the love that God – as God the Son, has for His body of believers – which is the universal church that is made up of only Christ-follower guys, gals and kids. Just as Jesus Christ – as God the Son, unconditionally loves every guy, gal and kid who has been prompted by God – as God the Spirit, to go to and through the faith/grace door into His body of believers – which is the universal church that is made up of only Christ-follower guys, gals and kids, a husband must always unconditionally love his wife. It is to be the guy who is to initiate a relationship – not the gal. It is to be the guy who is to pursue a relationship with a gal. The guy – not the gal, is then responsible to maintain the relationship with the gal who willingly agreed to marry him – by continuing to court her every day before they are married and then especially every day after they are married. If a gal senses that the guy who she married considers her to be his most precious and most beautiful earthly gift that he has ever received and will ever receive, the gal will find herself absolutely candidly wanting to be with the guy as his helpmate to help him in every possible way and to give of herself unabashedly to him to enjoy. Your grandpaa has permanently implanted in his mind a picture of your grandmaa when he first saw your grandmaa as she began to walk down the center aisle of the Emmanuel Orthodox Presbyterian Church – that is on Wilson Road in Wilmington, Delaware, towards him where he was standing at the front of the church with Phil Kelleher – who was his best man, and with Chuck Button and Tim Wren – who were his groomsmen. Because your grandmaa’s dad had died from a massive heart attack about four months earlier, your dad’s Uncle Dan walked your grandmaa down the aisle. Your grandmaa’s dad had his fatal heart attack the evening of the afternoon when your grandpaa asked your grandmaa’s dad and ma if he could marry their daughter. Your grandmaa’s dad and ma had befriended your grandpaa after he arrived in March of 1963 in Delaware. Your grandmaa’s dad and ma gave your grandpaa their blessing to marry your grandmaa.
The first moments of the afternoon of February 14, 1964 – when your grandpaa saw your grandmaa beginning to walk down the aisle towards him, were very surreal moments to your grandpaa. Your grandpaa felt like a little kid being given a gift that he knew that he did not deserve. When your grandmaa suddenly appeared at the entrance of the Emmanuel Orthodox Presbyterian Church in a shimmering white bridal gown, your grandmaa looked like an angel to your grandpaa. Your grandpaa could not believe that your grandmaa kept walking and walking and walking towards where your grandpaa was standing at the front of the church. It was not as if your grandpaa thought that your grandmaa would suddenly decide not to marry him; it was more like your grandpaa was feeling like he was dreaming and . . . besides her physical beauty – which your grandpaa cannot stop himself from still admiring today, your grandpaa really liked the way that your grandmaa smiled, the sound of her voice, her warmth, her ultra-fast wit, the way that she would make other guys and gals feel good about themselves, the way that she made your grandpaa feel, . . . your grandmaa and grandpaa after nearly 58 years as of the editing of this missive are continuing to really enjoy being with each other. Your grandpaa knows that God gave him a gift – your grandmaa, who has been the eyes and encouragement that your grandpaa has needed to be who he is today. Your grandpaa knows that God has blessed him with a wife who is even more beautiful inside then she is physically attractive and who is a faithful, devoted Christ-follower. Your grandmaa and grandpaa have discovered that life storms go with living together as one as husband and wife, Verse 28 says, “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” There is nothing on planet Earth that is more priceless to a guy than a wife.
Ephesians 5 (574)